Christmas of course can evoke positive as well as traumatic memories, and it’s important to acknowledge both – the tricky part is how?
Christmas when I was a child was a mixed bag of emotions and incidents. My parents, particularly my dad, loved Xmas. Every year, we would receive a large Xmas bag full of toys. The toys would be from jumble sales and not wrapped, but did I care? No. I didn’t even notice the difference until I went into care, and found the oddity of wrapped presents – I thought I was well posh then!
Alcohol played a huge part in our Christmas’s, and always led to violence by the end of the day. The anxiety levels held by us were extreme, and very often, once I was in care, I would be physically sick on Xmas eve.
Recognition of the past at this time, and thoughts for the child’s guilt/loss/rejection/sadness/
My message to all Foster Parents is to acknowledge the potential pain that the children/young people may be experiencing, in private, maybe lighting a candle for each member, writing a “no send” letter, or just by listening and being ready with a cuddle.
Finally – this is a lovely time to build up a bank of memories and traditions for the future – to this day I still take my children and now granddaughter, to house hunt the best decorated house – this is in my memory bank from my time in Care.
Merry Christmas everyone
Jen x
Hackney Child – Looked after Child Adviser and Trainer
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